Ode to a Stainless Steel Coffee Carafe

You save me from cold, greasy java.

Reheated in the microwave two or even
Three times.
I swore I would NOT be like my mother, at least in the coffee department, but alas.
I failed.
Sparks popping on the souvenir cup from Princess Cruises,
The spiff mug from Lori’s job a few companies ago
Overheats like that bad, bad boss she had.

Sometimes, in a rush, I heat up a plastic to-go cup, even though it means
Certain Death and Cooties. Our planet suffers for my impatience.

Starbucks, Peets, Newman’s Organic, the Fair Trade stuff on sale
Splenda and some half-n-half,
A biscotti stolen from Lori’s stash
Java be not proud!

Our last carafe turned mean and bit me
One day as I washed it out I heard a clink
And I ran a finger inside the rim.
The cut was deep and the blood abundant as I cursed that
Ugly white plastic bitch and threw her in the trash.

The best Valentine’s gift ever!
$30 silver stainless steel coffee carafe
from Bed, Bath & Beyond.
From Beyond, my prayers were heard
No stupid roses or chocolates, please!
Send me something I really need!

O carafe! Nectar protector
Brushed metal exterior spotless and pure
Glassless and indestructible
Noon comes so soon and yet—
And yet—
Fresh, hot, and lovely you are
Like my little latte Lori!
You save me from cold, greasy java
Certain Death and Cooties.